I have barely begun to read the JOFA Bat Mitzvah journal (link below) and already feel like I have much to figure out with Claire. While she has no desire to learn to lein (read from the Torah), and I would not force her to (although I would find her a teacher if she *did* want to learn), I still want this to be more than just a big party for her. I would like her Bat Mitzvah to be a meaningful experience that helps not just connect her to her Judaism, but also solidifies her identity as a Modern Orthodox (MO) young lady, and a valued member of the community.
One of the things I read that appeals to me is having the Bat Mitzvah girl learn, something that she can then incorporate into her dvar Torah and her experience as a MO Jew. I will have to brainstorm and discuss the ideas with Claire, of course, but thank G-d we have a wonderful Kollel Torah MiTzion here from which we can draw fabulous MO Zionist female role models.
Ultimately, though, this reminds me that while Claire needs role models outside of our home, I am the foremost possible role model, and I should not discount my own actions. While I think she will appreciate and be less frustrated learning with someone other than me (not to discount the possibility of learning *with* me as well), perhaps it is time for me take on additional responsibilities as well. What do I mean by this? Recently, in the course of casual conversation with some of the other mothers at Claire's school, I was asked if I would be interested in leading a Rosh Chodesh learning group. I said I would think about it, but really, I tend to shy away from these things. "Why?" You might ask? Mostly because even though I have been observant for well over 14 years, I am still fearful of leading a group of frum Jews in any kind of learning. I'm also certain they know more than I do, that I will "give myself away" so to speak, by my choice of words or my pronounciation, or say or do something that makes it obvious that I'm newer to the "tribe" (as a BT) than they are.
But it may be time to get over that, to embrace the past and who I was and acknowledge that I may, quite possibily, never speak the same language, use the same vocabulary, fit in exactly. (Come to think of it, I know that already. HaSafran and I are so not mainstream Jews, even as MO Jews--we are well aware of this and we`ve come to accept and embrace it.) So I think I may call up this other mother and inquire as to whether or not she is still interested, and ask what she had in mind.
Does anyone have any suggestions for the first topic?
4 comments:
To be completely honest, my dear, you probably know a lot *more* than any of the women you'd be leading in learning. Ba'alei teshuva and converts tend to be that way :) So never fear!
As for a topic? Do you want something literary or something Israel-related?
Not necessarily, although I'm open to ideas. It seems to make sense (perhaps?) to start with the discussion of Rosh Chodesh learning...I was considering going the way of Jephte's daughter in Judges to discuss the story and connection to Rosh Chodesh learning. Perhaps not the most traditional interpretation, but interesting nonetheless, IMO. But I don't know...these aren't academic women, so I'm also worried about making that crossover.
Rahab is a person most people don't think/know about. I have a whole paper on how awesome and empowering she is as a historic/religious Jewish woman figure :D
Thanks! Feel free to send it along. I think I'm going to learn about the women of the Torah with her, both the positive ones and the ones that are more...interesting, shall we say? If we have time, perhaps we'll continue on into women in the Talmud.
Can't wait to read your paper!
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